40 Days - Day 31 - Growing out of laziness

Parents, two great qualities to build into your children are diligence and initiative. Diligence is that quality that motivates you to give your best effort in whatever you're trying to accomplish. Whether it's your spiritual growth, school, sports, friendship, or service learning to give your best effort will cause you to stand out, because so few people do it. Initiative is that quality that doesn't wait to be asked to do something needed, it actually anticipates the need. Wow! When you meet people like this, they stand out!

Students, employees, sales people, parents, and friends - Don't do the minimum required, look for what is needed to accomplish the goal with excellence.

Early in my life, I struggled with laziness. I would always choose to do what I wanted to do than to do what I was responsible to accomplish. As a result, I would wait until the last minute and usually do a job that did not reflect the gifts and abilities that God had given me.

Laziness is hard to overcome. First, you have to admit that you are lazy. Few of us are lazy in every area of life, so look specifically at the areas of your life where you are lazy. See it as sin and confess it to God as such. Begin to picture what your life would look like if you were diligent in that particular area. Pray for a spirit of diligence. You will find over time, you can develop the habit of diligence which will soon lead to the character quality of diligence!

40 Days - Day 30 - Living with an angry person

I focused the study on avoiding angry people, but what if you're married to an angry person? What if you have a parent or a child who is an angry person? What wisdom does God have for You? The great news is that God has the grace and wisdom to equip you to live in wisdom with that person. It won't be easy, but you can glorify God even in that situation. (I'm going to use "he" throughout the article, but women can be just as guilty of anger issues)

Principle 1 - Pray for yourself (grace and peace) and pray for the angry person in your life. If he is a believer, pray that the Holy Spirit will bring conviction and hope into his life. If he is not a believer, pray that God will open his heart to the life changing gospel of Jesus Christ. Pray also that he will see the destructive power of his anger.

Principle 2 - Determine what kind of anger you're dealing with. Biblically, there are two kinds of anger. There is the explosive, volcanic anger that erupts fairly quickly and showers those around with burning lava, and there is the crock pot kind of anger that bubbles beneath the surface and rarely goes away. Both kinds of anger are destructive. The second is more difficult to deal with because the person often responds, I'm not angry and won't deal with the issues honestly.

Principle 3 - Control your emotions. Remember Pr 15:1, "a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." You can't control the anger of another, but you can choose to raise or lower the emotional temperature of the situation by your own responses. DISCRETION! Be "quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger." (James 1:19)

Principle 4 - Choose your times wisely - So often, the only times we say important things to others is when we're mad. That's usually the worst time to communicate, especially with an angry person. Get a neutral setting (Starbucks, a restaurant, a park, etc) and quietly bring up the issues you want to discuss there.

Principle 5 - Be wise in how you bring up their anger. If you say things like, you always do this, or if you exaggerate their actions - you don't really help them. Learn to quietly describe their behavior and how it affects you. You won't change them, but God can.

Principle 6 - Do not accept illegal behavior. If the anger crosses the line into physical abuse either against you or children, call the police. Let him or her know that you will do this and have a plan in mind so you can get to a phone quickly. I've seen even the threat of anger becoming public a powerful tool in helping a person to gain a measure of control.


Well, these are just a few ideas. The point is, there is hope. Let me know what other questions you have.

40 Days - Day 29: Discernment and others

This week is incredibly important for parents, single kids, single adults, and everyone who wants to avoid disastrous mistakes in relationships. So much of the pain I've seen in life has come when a person has chosen to believe something about someone else despite evidence to the contrary and advice from friends.

For example, a young man is developing a relationship with a woman who is a liar. People try to warn him, he gets burned by her lies time and time again, yet still he pursues her because he thinks he loves her.

I've seen young women continue to stay in a relationship with a man who is angry. They are not married, but she feels like he needs her, so she stays and perhaps even marries the man.

The problem with relationships is that our emotions get involved, we get infatuated! Notice I did not say love. Almost every popular song about love is not about love at all, it's about obsession and infatuation. When you get carried away with your emotions sanity, good sense, and godliness often go out the window.

That's why the Proverbs challenges you to "guard your heart with all diligence." (Proverbs 4:23) The time to evaluate character is BEFORE you get all emotionally involved with someone. The time to evaluate character is BEFORE you hire the person or become his/her business partner.

I pray that this week will stir you to become a student of the Proverbs, specifically to learn what kind of people to avoid. You will be blessed when like Jesus says, you are, "wise as serpents, but innocent as doves."

One final thing. What if you are married to someone who is angry, lacks integrity, or is lazy? What if you have a son or daughter who is a fool? Can discernment help you then? Absolutely. Godly discernment can guide your love so that you are not enabling the foolish behavior, but rather you are giving the person you love the greatest chance to grow.

40 Days - Days 23-24 - Discernment

Discernment is a valuable commodity. It gives you the ability to see people clearly and to evaluate complex situations from God's perspective. When I see people from God's perspective, it helps me to love them in a wise manner. In friendships, discernment helps me see the best way to help people. That's why in Philippians 1:9-11 Paul prayed that our love would abound in real knowledge and all discernment. It's not enough to love people, we have to love them with a discerning love.

Try thinking about the people in your life. What are the greatest needs they have? Think about that question from God's perspective. From God's view, what are their greatest needs? As you start seeing their true needs more clearly, you will begin to see how can God use you to help them find the answers to the things they need.

40 Days - Davs 14-20

I have been overwhelmed this week by the comments on how powerful discretion has been in your thinking and your life. I call discretion, the pause that brings life. Rather than blundering through life doing what you tend to do, following your passions, or letting your impulses guide you; discretion lets you slow down and bring God into your situation. Rather than spewing hateful, hurtful, or sarcastic speech; you become quick to hear and slow to speak. Rather than deciding on that purchase because it appeals to you, you give God some time to lead you in that decision.

This has been a lifetime journey for me, because I am an impulsive person by nature. I am a person who tends to speak before he thinks. Discretion has and continues to give me a chance to grow and change.

You don't have to follow your heart, instead you can follow the Lord.

He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, but he who walks wisely will be delivered. Proverbs 26:28.

40 Days - Day 14 - The habit that gains wisdom

Have you gained wisdom over this last year? Take a minute and write down the principles that you've learned and applied to your life. Can't think of any? If you're like many believers, the answer will be "nope." All too many believers do not approach God's word to gain wisdom. They listen to sermons to affirm what they already believe. They study the Bible to get a spiritual pep pill for the day and the more time goes on, the more difficult it is to get that great thought for the day.

In Proverbs 2:4 Solomon helps us understand the approach to God's Word that will gain wisdom. He challenges us to seek for wisdom as for silver, search for her as for hidden treasure. STOP! Think for a moment. If you were in a mine looking for a vein of silver or for a stash of hidden treasure, would you go running through the mine to see how quickly you could get through? Yet that's how many of us appproach God's Word. We think, "I've got to read through it in a year!!!!" Who said? I would imagine a miner looking for a vein of silver would work his way through the mine pretty slowly. When he saw something worth digging, he would dig to see what's there.

Over the years, I've found myself slowing down more and more as I approach God's Word. I love to memorize a passage, and spend a month or two meditating on the truth of that passage. It's amazing the stuff that will come as I give the word time to percolate through my mind, down to my heart. After walking with Christ for over 40 years, I've learned truth that has changed my perspective and caused me to reevaluate my life. That's what keeps life fresh for me.

So what's the habit? Slow down! Learn to meditate (Psalm 1). Let God's Word roll around in your mind and meditate on the insights you gain. You will discover the joy of being transformed by the renewing of your mind (Romans 12:2)

40 days - Day 13 - the Prayer that gains wisdom

Do you believe you are in the category of the person of James 1:5? Do you believe you lack wisdom? The more I go on in life, the more I realize that, in myself, I don't have God's perspective on myself, others, or circumstances. I find that when I cry out to God for understanding, he answers my prayer. Bottom line: if I want to gain wisdom, it's not simply a matter of studying God's Word, it's a matter of coming to God and asking him for insight into his word so that I may gain the wisdom I so desparately need.

40 Days - Day 12 The attitude that gains wisdom

As I worked through Proverbs 2:1 and James 1:21, it struck me how important it is for me to continually evaluate my heart as I approach God's Word. Am I receiving his word into my life, am I treasuring his truth? It's one thing to read and study and another thing to come to God's word with a humble heart asking God to shape me by his word.

David said, I have treasured your word in my heart that I might not sin against you. That spirit of internalizing and treasuring God's word is what will bring wisdom to our lives.

40 Days - Day 11 God's Word

I hope this week will be fruitful as you grow in your understanding of how important God's Word is, and how much work it is to build God's Word into your life. Paul says in 2 Timothy 3:16-17 that all Scripture is inspired and is profitable to teach you truth, show you where you are wrong, help you make corrections, and train you to be God's servant. The awesome truth is that God's Word is given to help you be competent and equipped for every good work!

If this is true, why aren't all Christians making progress? To be honest, it takes hard work to build God's Word into your life. Paul in Colossians 3:16, challenges us to let the word of Christ dwell richly within us. So, God's word isn't something I simply read, I must give it time to sink deeply into my heart.

Psalm 1 says that the blessed person is one who meditates on God's Word day and night! So God's Word needs to be on my mind at all times. In short, God's Word must become the dominant influence of your thinking and your life.

This week, we're going to use Proverbs 2:1-5 as a template to help you build God's wisdom into your life. I pray that you will get excited about putting the work into learning and internalizing God's Word. You will discover that the wisdom you gain is well worth the effort.

Evaluate your relationship with God's Word. Are you giving it the attention and focus that will allow it to change your life? If not, what needs to change?

Isaiah 40:8 The grass withers and the flower fades, but the word of our God stands forever.

40 Days - Day 9 Loving God

It's instructive to see how often our relationship with God is described with words like "whole" or "all." I am to trust in the Lord with all my heart. I am to seek him with a whole heart. The greatest commandment is to love God with all my heart and all my soul and all my strength. Wow! I think God is trying to communicate something to me. Loving God is the choice to put God at the very core of your life. He will increasingly influence every decision you make. You will worship him by giving him your body and your life (Romans 12:1). Your work will be for his glory (Colossians 3:22-24). You will seek to bring glory to him through your service (1 Peter 4:10-11). You will joyfully proclaim his excellencies to those around you (1 Peter 2:9-10). You will let your light shine so that people will glorify your father in heaven (Matthew 5:13-16). You will love others because he first loved you and it is his desire for you (John 13:34-35, 1 John 4:19).

Do you see? Everything you do will grow out of God's love for you and your response of loving him in return. Worship, service, generosity, relationships, and witness will all grow out of your love for God.

I love 1 Peter 1:8, because it describes our love for Jesus in spite of trials of life. Peter says, and though you have not seen him, you love him, and though you do not see him now, but believe in him, you greatly rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory.

What does this have to do with wisdom? What you will discover is that if you don't get the big things right, you won't have wisdom in the details of life. Well, there is nothing bigger or more important than you can do as a creation of God than to love him with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. As we draw near to God and trust him, rely on him, and love him with all our hearts; we will have his clarity for our lives.

40 Days - Day 8 Learning to rely on God

If you forced me to choose one passage in God's word that has shaped my life above all others, it would be John 15:1-11. As a teenager, I memorized that passage and have come back to it time and time again throughout my life. The wisdom of this passage is amazing and it has carried me through both the good and dark times of life.

The fundamental truth is that Jesus is the source of life. In v1, he says, "I am the true vine, you are the branches." Think about the relationship of a branch to its vine (trunk). The branch draws life from the vine and with that life, it bears fruit.

The fundamental principle is that apart from a moment by moment abiding relationship with Jesus Christ, I can do NOTHING! The contrast is awesome: when I abide in Christ and he abides in me, I will bear fruit.

All through my life, I've tried to stay true to that wisdom. I've focused on the priority to maintain an intimate walk with Jesus and then I let my ministry flow from that intimacy. When I stray from that my life gets dry and I get discouraged.

Take some time with this amazing passage. Let the incredible results of abiding excite you about growing in that intimate relationship with Christ. It's a great journey.

40 Days - Day 7 Learning to Trust God

Proverbs 3:5-6 is one of those passages that is so familiar, we lose the wow factor of how important and radical it is. Trusting in the Lord with all my heart means that I am going to turn to God in every situation of life. To trust in the Lord is to put my entire weight on him. The next phrase is a contrast: lean not on your own understanding. Instead of putting your weight on your understanding, lean completely on God, his wisdom, and his power. Your health, your family, your finances, your work, your time, and your relationships all are under God's care and control. Trusting him is both resting in him and obeying him. That's where the third phrase comes in: in all your ways acknowledge him. God is the Sovereign creator of the universe. He created the solar system, and he created the DNA that is the information for every cell of your body. He is worthy of your trust.

So what is troubling your today? Get on your knees and bring your anxieties, fears, and frustrations to the Lord. Trust him with all your heart. Commit yourself to obey him no matter what! (Philippians 4:4-8)

There's an old hymn that says,

Trust and obey for there's no other way
to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.

One of the verses has such wisdom:

But we never can prove the delights of his love
until all on the altar we lay.
For the favor he shows, for the joy he bestows,
are for those who will trust and obey.

40 Days - Day 5: The Fear of the Lord

I hope you will spend some time on this study. For me, getting a better grasp on the fear of the Lord is changing my life. It's creating a deeper desire in me to draw close to God, because I am recognizing how great he really is!

I've been working on keeping God in my focus throughout the day. I am trying to see every situation I encounter as under his sovereign control. I'm seeing his purposes more clearly and I'm starting to find that I have more courage and confidence for life as I realize that it's all about God. Whether I'm working out or studying for a sermon, I want to do it all for God's glory because he is so worth it.

My favorite verse is Prov 14:26 "In the fear of the Lord, there is strong confidence."

40 Days - Day 3 The blessing of wisdom

Wisdom from God comes with great blessing. God takes personal responsibility to be your shield (2.7). He preserves your way (2.8). Wisdom will protect you from evil people (2.12-22). Wisdom also brings long life, riches and honor (3.13-16). Whoa, wait a minute. Does this mean that everyone who is wise will be rich and live a long time? Does this mean that anyone who died young was not wise? The answer to both questions is no. When you read, it's important to remember that you are not reading a book of promises, you are reading a book of principles. Generally speaking, someone who lives a life marked by wisdom will have a long and fruitful life. My dad is a great example of this. He lived a life of wisdom and integrity and, even though his life had many hardships, he lived a long, blessed life. Think about the promises of wealth. Will everyone who lives wisely be rich? No, but they will have more than if they foolishly squander their money. So as you read the Proverbs, understand that wisdom does bring great blessing. Wisdom does not promise life will be easy, but it does bring the confidence that your life will be full, fruitful, and blessed.

40 Days - Day 2

Living by God's wisdom is about trusting him. I've discovered that Isaiah 55:8-9 is really true; God's ways are not my ways and God's thoughts are not my thoughts. So, if I follow my heart, or my impulses, I will be living in my wisdom and not God's wisdom. The simple question for me is "Am I going to trust in myself, the world, or in God? " If I follow my heart or lean on my own understanding, I'm going to miss out on the blessing, protection, and peace that comes from living in God's wisdom.

For me, the first and toughest step in developoing God's wisdom has been learning discretion. (I'm still learning by the way) Discretion is that wonderful ability to slow down my reactions, words, or decisions, so that I can bring God and his wisdom into the situation. When I rush ahead and act impulsively, it almost always results in unwise behavior. When I slow down to pray or to think about this situation from God's perspective, I have a chance to gain wisdom.

Wise Living - 40 days day 1

The message of Day 1 is either you are growing in wisdom or you are becoming a greater fool (please forgive my bluntness). For me, the activity of journaling is critical to my growth in self-awareness and God's wisdom. Journaling gives me a chance to see myself more clearly. When I write down thoughts and feelings and then read them over; I actually understand myself more clearly. When I note the principles I'm learning from God's Word, I gain even more insights into how God's Word works.

Let this 40 days get you into the habit of journaling. Learn to journal and the read through your journal at least once a week. You will be amazed at how much you can teach yourself.

God bless. I hope the Wise Living journey becomes an important part of your growth.

By the way, If you haven't started - you can pick up the guide Wise Living in a Foolish World at the church office, or call (805) 262-5000 and order it.