40 Days - Day 31 - Growing out of laziness

Parents, two great qualities to build into your children are diligence and initiative. Diligence is that quality that motivates you to give your best effort in whatever you're trying to accomplish. Whether it's your spiritual growth, school, sports, friendship, or service learning to give your best effort will cause you to stand out, because so few people do it. Initiative is that quality that doesn't wait to be asked to do something needed, it actually anticipates the need. Wow! When you meet people like this, they stand out!

Students, employees, sales people, parents, and friends - Don't do the minimum required, look for what is needed to accomplish the goal with excellence.

Early in my life, I struggled with laziness. I would always choose to do what I wanted to do than to do what I was responsible to accomplish. As a result, I would wait until the last minute and usually do a job that did not reflect the gifts and abilities that God had given me.

Laziness is hard to overcome. First, you have to admit that you are lazy. Few of us are lazy in every area of life, so look specifically at the areas of your life where you are lazy. See it as sin and confess it to God as such. Begin to picture what your life would look like if you were diligent in that particular area. Pray for a spirit of diligence. You will find over time, you can develop the habit of diligence which will soon lead to the character quality of diligence!

40 Days - Day 30 - Living with an angry person

I focused the study on avoiding angry people, but what if you're married to an angry person? What if you have a parent or a child who is an angry person? What wisdom does God have for You? The great news is that God has the grace and wisdom to equip you to live in wisdom with that person. It won't be easy, but you can glorify God even in that situation. (I'm going to use "he" throughout the article, but women can be just as guilty of anger issues)

Principle 1 - Pray for yourself (grace and peace) and pray for the angry person in your life. If he is a believer, pray that the Holy Spirit will bring conviction and hope into his life. If he is not a believer, pray that God will open his heart to the life changing gospel of Jesus Christ. Pray also that he will see the destructive power of his anger.

Principle 2 - Determine what kind of anger you're dealing with. Biblically, there are two kinds of anger. There is the explosive, volcanic anger that erupts fairly quickly and showers those around with burning lava, and there is the crock pot kind of anger that bubbles beneath the surface and rarely goes away. Both kinds of anger are destructive. The second is more difficult to deal with because the person often responds, I'm not angry and won't deal with the issues honestly.

Principle 3 - Control your emotions. Remember Pr 15:1, "a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." You can't control the anger of another, but you can choose to raise or lower the emotional temperature of the situation by your own responses. DISCRETION! Be "quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger." (James 1:19)

Principle 4 - Choose your times wisely - So often, the only times we say important things to others is when we're mad. That's usually the worst time to communicate, especially with an angry person. Get a neutral setting (Starbucks, a restaurant, a park, etc) and quietly bring up the issues you want to discuss there.

Principle 5 - Be wise in how you bring up their anger. If you say things like, you always do this, or if you exaggerate their actions - you don't really help them. Learn to quietly describe their behavior and how it affects you. You won't change them, but God can.

Principle 6 - Do not accept illegal behavior. If the anger crosses the line into physical abuse either against you or children, call the police. Let him or her know that you will do this and have a plan in mind so you can get to a phone quickly. I've seen even the threat of anger becoming public a powerful tool in helping a person to gain a measure of control.


Well, these are just a few ideas. The point is, there is hope. Let me know what other questions you have.

40 Days - Day 29: Discernment and others

This week is incredibly important for parents, single kids, single adults, and everyone who wants to avoid disastrous mistakes in relationships. So much of the pain I've seen in life has come when a person has chosen to believe something about someone else despite evidence to the contrary and advice from friends.

For example, a young man is developing a relationship with a woman who is a liar. People try to warn him, he gets burned by her lies time and time again, yet still he pursues her because he thinks he loves her.

I've seen young women continue to stay in a relationship with a man who is angry. They are not married, but she feels like he needs her, so she stays and perhaps even marries the man.

The problem with relationships is that our emotions get involved, we get infatuated! Notice I did not say love. Almost every popular song about love is not about love at all, it's about obsession and infatuation. When you get carried away with your emotions sanity, good sense, and godliness often go out the window.

That's why the Proverbs challenges you to "guard your heart with all diligence." (Proverbs 4:23) The time to evaluate character is BEFORE you get all emotionally involved with someone. The time to evaluate character is BEFORE you hire the person or become his/her business partner.

I pray that this week will stir you to become a student of the Proverbs, specifically to learn what kind of people to avoid. You will be blessed when like Jesus says, you are, "wise as serpents, but innocent as doves."

One final thing. What if you are married to someone who is angry, lacks integrity, or is lazy? What if you have a son or daughter who is a fool? Can discernment help you then? Absolutely. Godly discernment can guide your love so that you are not enabling the foolish behavior, but rather you are giving the person you love the greatest chance to grow.

40 Days - Days 23-24 - Discernment

Discernment is a valuable commodity. It gives you the ability to see people clearly and to evaluate complex situations from God's perspective. When I see people from God's perspective, it helps me to love them in a wise manner. In friendships, discernment helps me see the best way to help people. That's why in Philippians 1:9-11 Paul prayed that our love would abound in real knowledge and all discernment. It's not enough to love people, we have to love them with a discerning love.

Try thinking about the people in your life. What are the greatest needs they have? Think about that question from God's perspective. From God's view, what are their greatest needs? As you start seeing their true needs more clearly, you will begin to see how can God use you to help them find the answers to the things they need.

40 Days - Davs 14-20

I have been overwhelmed this week by the comments on how powerful discretion has been in your thinking and your life. I call discretion, the pause that brings life. Rather than blundering through life doing what you tend to do, following your passions, or letting your impulses guide you; discretion lets you slow down and bring God into your situation. Rather than spewing hateful, hurtful, or sarcastic speech; you become quick to hear and slow to speak. Rather than deciding on that purchase because it appeals to you, you give God some time to lead you in that decision.

This has been a lifetime journey for me, because I am an impulsive person by nature. I am a person who tends to speak before he thinks. Discretion has and continues to give me a chance to grow and change.

You don't have to follow your heart, instead you can follow the Lord.

He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, but he who walks wisely will be delivered. Proverbs 26:28.

40 Days - Day 14 - The habit that gains wisdom

Have you gained wisdom over this last year? Take a minute and write down the principles that you've learned and applied to your life. Can't think of any? If you're like many believers, the answer will be "nope." All too many believers do not approach God's word to gain wisdom. They listen to sermons to affirm what they already believe. They study the Bible to get a spiritual pep pill for the day and the more time goes on, the more difficult it is to get that great thought for the day.

In Proverbs 2:4 Solomon helps us understand the approach to God's Word that will gain wisdom. He challenges us to seek for wisdom as for silver, search for her as for hidden treasure. STOP! Think for a moment. If you were in a mine looking for a vein of silver or for a stash of hidden treasure, would you go running through the mine to see how quickly you could get through? Yet that's how many of us appproach God's Word. We think, "I've got to read through it in a year!!!!" Who said? I would imagine a miner looking for a vein of silver would work his way through the mine pretty slowly. When he saw something worth digging, he would dig to see what's there.

Over the years, I've found myself slowing down more and more as I approach God's Word. I love to memorize a passage, and spend a month or two meditating on the truth of that passage. It's amazing the stuff that will come as I give the word time to percolate through my mind, down to my heart. After walking with Christ for over 40 years, I've learned truth that has changed my perspective and caused me to reevaluate my life. That's what keeps life fresh for me.

So what's the habit? Slow down! Learn to meditate (Psalm 1). Let God's Word roll around in your mind and meditate on the insights you gain. You will discover the joy of being transformed by the renewing of your mind (Romans 12:2)

40 days - Day 13 - the Prayer that gains wisdom

Do you believe you are in the category of the person of James 1:5? Do you believe you lack wisdom? The more I go on in life, the more I realize that, in myself, I don't have God's perspective on myself, others, or circumstances. I find that when I cry out to God for understanding, he answers my prayer. Bottom line: if I want to gain wisdom, it's not simply a matter of studying God's Word, it's a matter of coming to God and asking him for insight into his word so that I may gain the wisdom I so desparately need.